a good son?

Well today if you read Aprils blog, you know whats going on. But if not I get surprise calls from my father, mostly it seems when he needs something. I think that it is true once your parents hit a certain age time reverts itself and you have to take care of them, Id have no problem with that if he would try to help himself. You see I had a very special bond with my father, I knew he was a recovering alcoholic and was proud he was sober. He has lots of interests that we shared and still do share. We did lots of things together he was the father I always wanted. BTW I am adopted. Hahaha. He taught me really what it was to be a man and to learn from my mistakes. We were really close at one point, that is till he started drinking again and my mother was going to divorce him he changed or the alcohol was changing him into what my mother hated and into what I was soon going to hate. I do love him dearly to this day and would sacrifice anything I have to get the old him back but he is a lost cause I feel more and more every day. I actually contemplate not answering the phone when he calls. But the soft side of me prevails, I have said some hurtfull things trying to get the shock of my anger into him. I feel at times he is trying to kill himself but the truth be known he is going to be one of those assholes that kills who ever he hits when he is drinking and driving and he is going to live......Till I see him and break his neck. I wish he would see that he is throwing away everything I at this point wouldnt be able to trust him with our future baby alone...Sad isnt it I always thought I would have so much fun with him and a grandchild. Ah what ever. I am pleased in one sense to say I am not driving him to NY tomorrow and Yes I did lie I said I didnt have pto Paid time off when I do but man I need that for when I am on my honeymoon..............Srry to rant and have no definite finsh or direction to this it was sorta just poops of the fingers